6 months ago I made it to this field and I was in awe.
No words could express what it meant to be able to walk to the field down the road, by myself, for the first time in 4 years.
I actually made it.
I cried.
I laughed.
I genuinely couldn’t believe it was real.
A month ago, after 6 weeks of bedrest due to an injury, I made it back to the same field.
Except this time, the accomplishment was smaller in my mind.
I was so focused on my leg… was I over doing it?
Was I straining the injury?
Did it hurt?
I lived so much in my head on that walk, that it completely bypassed me to stop and realised, one again, I had been knocked back, and once again, I had made it.
It didn’t matter that this time took 6 weeks compared to 4 years previously, I still made it against the nagging worries that I wouldn’t.
Today, after 2 weeks of being very ill, I made it to the field again.
And this time, I went with the perspective like the first.
It’s been a tough 2 weeks, and the relief that I got through it, and better still, made it to the field, was just as overwhelming as making it after 4 years.
The fear once again that I was going to relapse and wouldn’t recover made this walk one of pure joy and relief with every step and breath.
Just so grateful that the fear hadn’t come true.
Reflecting upon these same achievements repeated within six months, reminds me of something important:
No matter how many times my mind tells me I won’t make it back, whether it’s been 4 years, 2 months, or 2 weeks, my body has proven itself to me again, again, and again.
While I have so much evidence to say I’ll get worse again, I have just as much evidence (plus hope and belief) to say I won’t, and that the setbacks are temporary.
And even when I do get knocked down or have a setback (which I keep reminding myself are inevitable and normal) I still get back up each time.
I’m glad these past two weeks are over, but more than anything, I’m so proud I got through them, and prouder still I bounced back to my baseline quicker than I hoped.
I hope whatever is knocking you down right now, whether it’s been years, months, or weeks, you too can remember you will get through this and you will get back up again ❤️❤️
(and remember when you do, stay in the moment and celebrate your achievement!)
xx
(Originally posted on @mindfullyevie Instagram and Facebook)