Working Through Fear

Something I don’t think they tell you enough about is how much fear there is during recovery.

Fear you’ll lose the progress you made.

Fear you won’t make it.

Fear that these months are an anomoly rather than the real thing.

Some days it feels like walking on eggshells, wondering if what I’m standing on is a foundation or if everything is going to fall through at any given moment. 🌊

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And then the other thing they don’t tell you is how much bloody work it is getting through that fear each day.

It takes so much effort to wade through it all and come out the other side.

To remind yourself you will make it.

That you will get there. 💬

That you are getting better.

That this is not temporary: it’s the real thing. 

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You have to counteract every fearful thought you have with a positive one.

Every. single. time. 🧘🏽‍♀️

And this takes so much work, and sometimes it feels like you want to be recognised for how hard you’re working because all the effort happens internally: away from what is visible to everyone else.

One way to describe getting through the fear each day is like how @ena puts it: it’s like having to produce a Patronus charm 24/7; to think of the happiest memory possible and let that fill you up until you’re bursting with joy.

Even though there is so much darkness and heaviness surrounding you, you somehow still have to find a way to think happy thoughts to counteract the fear. 🌫

This is what it takes to heal.

This is what we do every day.

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So I want to acknowledge anyone who has to wade through fear every day.

I want to tell you: I see you.

I see how hard you’re trying.

I see how much effort it is taking from you.

But I also see how it is worth it.
It is always worth it.

And maybe slowly the fear we feel will reduce, and the effort we’re putting in will ease little by little, until one day we finally reach the shore, and the fear will be no more ✨💛

(Originally posted on @mindfullyevie Instagram and Facebook)

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