I’ve always tried to keep my recovery as real on here as possible, and a lot of people are asking me for an update, so here are two recent developments:
First, I didn’t expect a national lockdown to come in two days after I left the house for the first time in over three years, and for that lockdown to still be in place a year later. I also didn’t expect to get injured four months after learning how to walk again, putting me back on bed rest.
Second, I’m okay. At least, I’m putting all my energy and effort into deep breaths, look how far you’ve come, it’s okay to cry, you’re doing so great, stay in the moment, so much joy to feel right here, okay.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with joy and excitement at everything I get to do now.
Sometimes I cry because of the pain in my leg and the fear my injury and lockdown are stopping my recovery progress.
And sometimes – most of the time – I feel like I’m balancing between the two, but spending a lot more time on the “wow how amazing is life” island.
Did I think recovery was going to be easy? No.
Did I think recovery was going to be easier than this? Yes, a little bit.
But did I have moments in my seven years of health decline where I thought recovery wasn’t going to happen at all for me? Yes.
And yet look at me, 11 months of improvement – albeit slow with a lotta bumps and slopes, but still, improvement all the same.
Sometimes, you just need to strip back the injury, the lockdown, and focus on one huge fact: I’m doing better than I was a year ago. That’s all I need to focus on and that’s all I need I to hold onto through the bumps and standstill.
I think I must have said these words a thousand times but that’s only because I need to hear them a thousand times a day:
Hope is real.
Recovery is real.
It can happen for you.
It is happening to me.
And as I said in my previous post:
I’ll always keep the torch of hope alight for those of you who are low on yours.
Love and light to everyone 🌻💛🌞