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  • Within These Four Walls by Mindfully Evie

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  • Recovery: An Honest Update
    In Mini-Posts
    February 18, 2021
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    February 11, 2021
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mindfullyevie

Today feels like spring has arrived early and I’ Today feels like spring has arrived early and I’m so happy 🌺🌺 I’m sure, like me, most of you in the northern hemisphere are also relieved winter is coming to an end as it’s been a very long few months. I’m so excited for a new season and the healing changes it’ll bring 🌞

I thought we’d play the predictive text game again as so many of you love it!
This time we’ll do “spring is...”
So type out in the comments below, “spring is”, and just click on the left prediction text column to finish the sentence for you and keep going until it feels right!
What do you get? 👇🏼
p.s. full credit once again to @morganharpernichols for this idea 💛
I am choosing to trust the process of my journey o I am choosing to trust the process of my journey over the visible progress. 🌱
I’ve always tried to keep my recovery as real on I’ve always tried to keep my recovery as real on here as possible, and a lot of people are asking me for an update, so here are two recent developments:

First, I didn’t expect a national lockdown to come in two days after I left the house for the first time in over three years, and for that lockdown to still be in place a year later. I also didn’t expect to get injured four months after learning how to walk again, putting me back on bed rest.

Second, I’m okay. At least, I’m putting all my energy and effort into deep breaths, look how far you’ve come, it’s okay to cry, you’re doing so great, stay in the moment, so much joy to feel right here, okay.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with joy and excitement at everything I get to do now.
Sometimes I cry because of the pain in my leg and the fear my injury and lockdown are stopping my recovery progress.
And sometimes - most of the time - I feel like I’m balancing between the two, but spending a lot more time on the “wow how amazing is life” island.

Did I think recovery was going to be easy? No.
Did I think recovery was going to be easier than this? Yes, a little bit.
But did I have moments in my seven years of health decline where I thought recovery wasn’t going to happen at all for me? Yes.

And yet look at me, 11 months of improvement - albeit slow with a lotta bumps and slopes, but still, improvement all the same.

Sometimes, you just need to strip back the injury, the lockdown, and focus on one huge fact: I’m doing better than I was a year ago. That’s all I need to focus on and that’s all I need I to hold onto through the bumps and standstill.

I think I must have said these words a thousand times but that’s only because I need to hear them a thousand times a day:

Hope is real.

Recovery is real.

It can happen for you.

It is happening to me.

And as I said in my previous post: 

I’ll always keep the torch of hope alight for those of you who are low on yours. 

Love and light to everyone 🌻💛🌞
Look at you, so brave, carrying on despite the fea Look at you, so brave, carrying on despite the fear - I see you. 🌻🌻
These photos capture the very moment my life chang These photos capture the very moment my life changed, exactly 8 years ago to this date.
It was the day I contracted glandular fever which caused the onset of my chronic illnesses.
I was 16, and being 24 now, it means today officially marks 8 years of being ill; a third of my life. 💫
I have mixed emotions about this day, so many thoughts I want to share, so I’ll just summarise some of the things I’m feeling right now.
~

Illness is a part of who I am, but it is not who I am. It is a big part of my journey, but it is not my journey.

Eight years of illness is a lot. It’s a long time, and it’s hard to process the fact one third of my life has been dominated by sickness.

I want to move on from my illness identify and find out who I am away from it all, but it’s hard when you’re still sick and healing dictates everything you do.

I’m grateful for everything that has happened to me even if I wouldn’t want to repeat it. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it and thats something worth paying for. 🌻

I’m not ashamed of my illness or how long I’ve been sick. I’m proud of my journey and my disability label.

I’m not angry or sad for the years it’s taken to find all the components for physical healing. I’m just overwhelmed with gratitude and relief that I think I finally have.
~

You are still healing even when you cannot see the progress. Trust that you are building the foundation and finding the pieces and pillars for recovery: it will show itself to you when it’s ready.

If you can’t aim for happiness in this moment, aim for peace. Peace is good.

You can be happy and sad. You can achieve acceptance and still grieve. You can practise patience and be frustrated. You can feel awakened and lost. You can feel courageous and frightened. 🌙

I’m grateful to everyone I have met on this journey: you have given me so much light and support. Instagram is a good place if you know where to look.

I’ll always keep the torch of hope alight for those of you who are low on yours.
~

Hope is everything.

Fear is real but you must keep going beyond its boundaries.

There is life within these four walls: I found it.

There is life outside these four walls: I’m going to find it.
💛💭
I know things have been so hard, but you’re doin I know things have been so hard, but you’re doing so well.
Keep going. 🥰
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