The future always seems scarier when it’s in my mind than when it becomes my reality.
I’ve often told people how I never resent being housebound because I’m always just so grateful that I’m not bedbound, because I sadly know of too many people who are with this illness.
Underneath that statement though was a silent panic questioning how I would ever cope if I did become bedbound, but the idea of that was too scary to even contemplate, so I always pushed it away.
But a few months ago after suffering from a crash, I became what I always feared: bedbound.
The strange thing about the experience though is that it wasn’t the overwhelming panic I thought I would experience when this fear came true.
I didn’t really think much about it.
Instead it was just, happening.
I think the reason for this is because fear doesn’t often live in the present moment with you; it’s usually the unknown and possibilities that are scary.
My mind adapted to the new surroundings so quickly that I didn’t really register it until afterwards.
The things I became grateful for got even smaller as my physical world decreased once again.
I started to dream for all the things I had only a month or two ago.
Of course the sadness and heartbreak joined me into this new phase, but the fear moved on.
It found new things for me to be afraid of: the fear of never getting better, the fear of only going downhill from here.
But the original fear of being bedbound left.
I think there’s a big lesson to learn here, and that is…
And our fears CONSTANTLY change.
By realising that our fears are not “fixed” objects, it can really help us to step back from them and see them as nothing more than imaginations of the mind, rather than facts.
We can accept they will always be there, and yes they may or may not come true, but we don’t have to allow them to overwhelm or terrify us.
By remembering that the fears we currently have are only temporary and will one day move on, it can release the power they hold over us, and therefore enable us to be able to let them go 🍃