This time last year, I started seeing physical improvements in my health for the first time in 7 years.
It wasn’t much at first: just being able to open my bedroom blinds 1/4 of the way to let some light in.
And then leaving my bed and going downstairs for an hour every few days.
And then the improvements got a little bigger.
Staying downstairs for longer and more regularly.
FaceTiming family and friends, seeing their faces for the first time in 4 years.
No longer needing to wear sunglasses 24/7 or plugging my ears when the hoover went off.
Being able to wash my own hair again.
Then, writing for one hour turned into a whole morning, and then morning and lunch.
Even though I feel my recovery has stalled a bit in 2021, mainly due to my injury, winter, and lockdown more than anything else, I have come SUCH a long way in a year.
So today I am celebrating one year of remission.
One year of beginning to reverse the other 7.
One year of travelling along the path of visible physical healing.
One year of starting a journey of self-discovery outside of these four walls and my illness label.
One thing I will say is this past year has NOT been the year of “finally living” or “getting my life back”.
I still had a life when I was at my worst.
I still had meaning when I was bedbound.
I was still living when my world was confined to one room.
My life was just as meaningful and valuable a year ago as it is today.
Don’t let yourself believe or let others make you believe that you’re only “living” when you’re improving.
Or that you only have meaning when you can do things.
Because I promise you, no matter how big or small your world is, how much or little you can do:
You are still living a life that is meaningful and valid.
You ARE still living.
This celebration today is not a year of getting my life back.
It’s celebrating a year of finally seeing the physical healing I worked towards for 7 years.
It’s celebrating that all that trust I put into believing I was healing even when I couldn’t see the visible progress paid off.
It’s celebrating beginning a new path, a new journey, and a continuation of self-discovery and healing.
Happy one year of visible physical healing to me. 🌱💛