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mindfullyevie

mindfullyevie
I wish you could see how hard I have to try to not I wish you could see how hard I have to try to not compare myself to my peers 🌛✨
What I wish people knew about chronic illness… 1 What I wish people knew about chronic illness…
1. My physical appearance has nothing to do with how well/sick I am. 💛
2. It’s okay to ask me about my illness.
3. You will only ever see me when I’m physically at my best.
4. Just because I could do something yesterday doesn’t mean I can today.
5. I still want to be invited even if you know I can’t make it.
6. It means a lot to me when you research my illness. 💻
7. Just because I’m doing better doesn’t mean I am better.
8. My symptoms, and the intensity of them, varies both daily and over time.
9. Making future plans is so hard as I have no idea how I’ll physically feel on the day.

Anything you would add on what you wish people knew about chronic illness? 😘 xx
Another year come and gone. No further from being Another year come and gone.
No further from being free from this
than I was three years ago.
Dreams of blue skies,
open roads,
and life outside this house
slip further away still.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
I don’t know what I’m doing right.
In the darkest hours,
the questions of
‘Is this all in your head?’
slip up from old surfaces
that people, doctors,
and history have left behind,
making me feel that maybe
these three years are self-inflicted
and this confinement
is somehow my choice.
These thoughts are ever so fleeting
but oh so devastating. 
This is what being ill with an illness
so misunderstood can do to you:
it can take the physical facts of your reality 
and twist them again and again
until even you start to question
if it’s all in your head.
But it’s not. I know it’s not.
It could not be more real or evident;
I feel the weight of the fatigue in my bones,
in every breath I take,
pulling me downwards
like it has a gravitational hold on me.
And so I submerge the thought
that I have subconsciously
inflicted this pain
upon myself,
drowning out the idea that this is my fault,
and pull out the evidence that:
this is not my fault,
I didn’t cause it,
there is nothing I am doing that
is causing me to stay in this place.
~
Page 30 of my book, ‘Everything is Always Changing.’ Available via my shop (mindfullyevie.com) and Amazon worldwide 📚🌍💛 xx
I hope you’re proud of all the times you rested I hope you’re proud of all the times you rested even though you didn’t want to.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you said no.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you did what was right for you.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you stopped instead of pushing through.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you put yourself first.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you recognised your limits.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you honoured your limits.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you went at your own pace.
I hope you’re proud of all the times you realised your best is, and always will be, enough.
~
Page 220 of my book, ‘Everything is Always Changing.’ Available via my shop and Amazon worldwide 📚🌍💛 xx
Anyone else worry they talk about their illness to Anyone else worry they talk about their illness too much? 🙋🏽‍♀️
I do, especially online.
It’s weird because when I was bedbound, I didn’t actually talk about it that much.
But since my improvement, I’ve felt more compelled to speak up about my illness. 📣
I guess it’s a mixture of feeling like I need to remind people that just because I’m no longer bedbound doesn’t mean I’m still not sick. 
Or that it’s no longer a big part of my life.
As well as a responsibility to talk about the impact of chronic illness for all those who are too ill to do so.
It feels good to raise more awareness around it and be vulnerable in the thoughts chronic illness can present in your life.
But there’s no doubt, I still worry a lot I talk about it too much 💬
Yet, the reality is, illness is a part of our life 24/7.
So the amount we talk about it is an absolute smidgen to the thoughts and impact it actually has on us. 💛
(I also don’t think talking about illness takes away the fact that someone’s illness is the least interesting fact about them. There’s soooo much more to someone than that.)
~
My illness impacts everything I do. So it can be hard not to talk about it when it’s so present in my life 💭
Things I don’t talk about enough with chronic il Things I don’t talk about enough with chronic illness…
1. How much it hurts when you tell me I look well.
2. How hard I have to try to not compare myself to my peers 👯‍♀️
3. How nervous I get posting only the “good” things.
4. How much effort and discipline it takes to rest every day.
5. How heartbreaking it is to realise how long I’ve been sick 💔
6. How hard the question, “what do you do for a living?” is.
7. How much planning, preparation and recovery I do just to leave the house or do a thing.
8. How insecure I feel always *banging on* about my illness 💭
9. How much I want you to see and acknowledge just how hard I’m trying.

Anything you would add to the list? ✨ xx
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