Opening the windows
I stare into the world around me,
the one I long to be a part of.
It’s a world that has become so unfamiliar to me,
it holds a dreamlike quality in my mind.
Is it even real?
For all I know I have made it up,
for it has been too long. All I know are these four walls:
this is the extent of my world.
Seeing the world out my window,
I feel the crushing weight on my heart;
the pull towards ‘out there’.
I long to wake up from this moment where I can run,
run downstairs and out the front door,
out where the grass is underneath my feet,
where people wear shoes,
where adventures start,
where human beings are real-life figures
and not just imaginations of my mind.
But I can’t.
This isn’t a dream I will wake up from.
This is my reality.
These four walls are my home,
and for now,
they are the extent of my world.
And so I shut my windows and step away from the view of a world I so long to be a part of,
and whisper to myself as I return back to my bed,
one day I will make it,
one day I will get there.
But for now,
I will let go of the longing and come back to being,
since no good has ever come from dwelling
in the house of longing for too long
as one can forget to live.
So I come back to this moment,
show up for what it has to offer me,
let the storm of heartbreak and loss pass,
and breathe deeply again into the house of being.
Page 9 of My Book ‘Within These Four Walls’ – available to purchase now worldwide via Amazon (UK, USA, EU, CA) or click on the relevant link below:
(Originally posted on @mindfullyevie Instagram and Facebook)