8 Year Illness Anniversary – Reflections

This photo capture the very moment my life changed, exactly 8 years ago to this date.

It was the day I contracted glandular fever which caused the onset of my chronic illnesses.

I was 16, and being 24 now, it means today officially marks 8 years of being ill; a third of my life. 💫

I have mixed emotions about this day, so many thoughts I want to share, so I’ll just summarise some of the things I’m feeling right now.

~

Illness is a part of who I am, but it is not who I am. It is a big part of my journey, but it is not my journey.

Eight years of illness is a lot. It’s a long time, and it’s hard to process the fact one third of my life has been dominated by sickness.

I want to move on from my illness identify and find out who I am away from it all, but it’s hard when you’re still sick and healing dictates everything you do.

I’m grateful for everything that has happened to me even if I wouldn’t want to repeat it. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it and thats something worth paying for. 🌻

I’m not ashamed of my illness or how long I’ve been sick. I’m proud of my journey and my disability label.

I’m not angry or sad for the years it’s taken to find all the components for physical healing. I’m just overwhelmed with gratitude and relief that I think I finally have.

~

You are still healing even when you cannot see the progress. Trust that you are building the foundation and finding the pieces and pillars for recovery: it will show itself to you when it’s ready.

If you can’t aim for happiness in this moment, aim for peace. Peace is good.

You can be happy and sad. You can achieve acceptance and still grieve. You can practise patience and be frustrated. You can feel awakened and lost. You can feel courageous and frightened. 🌙

I’m grateful to everyone I have met on this journey: you have given me so much light and support. Instagram is a good place if you know where to look.

I’ll always keep the torch of hope alight for those of you who are low on yours.

~

Hope is everything.

Fear is real but you must keep going beyond its boundaries.

There is life within these four walls: I found it.

There is life outside these four walls: I’m going to find it.

💛💭😌

(Originally posted on @mindfullyevie Instagram and Facebook)