Fear comes hand in hand with M.E.. I live in constant fear of overdoing it. I’m always asking myself, “have I done too much”, “have I pushed my body too far”, “what if I do more than my body can cope with”? I have reoccurring nightmares where I’m out somewhere and due to unforeseen circumstances I overdo it. All of a sudden my body goes into a full blown crash and fatigue and pain consumes me. I start to panic wondering how I’ll ever get home when I no longer have the strength or energy to walk, thinking I’ve overdone it for good and I’m going to relapse again. While I hope I would handle the situation a lot better in real life than in my dreams, there’s no denying this is something I continuously dread of happening.
The fear of overdoing it is completely justifiable because our bodies are so vulnerable. Sometimes all it takes is a little overdoing it and you’re back to square one, so it’s no wonder so many of us feel this way.
But we can’t live our lives in this constant fear. We especially can’t live our lives “pre-feeling” our future fear and worry as we have enough to cope with in the present moment. By living in fear we are needlessly multiplying our pain.
We have to stay focused on the present moment, because only in the present can we find peace which is the antidote to our fear. We need to remind ourselves that while our fear is rational and understandable, it’s often something we’ve created ourselves from past experiences, and is something we only feel through imagined circumstances of the potential future. If we ground ourselves to the present, right to this very moment, and look around at where we are now, we often find there is no fear here. Not really. We’re okay here. We’re safe.
Yes, the fear is always lurking around the corner, waiting for us, but we don’t have to go to it, we can just stay where we are and acknowledge that in the present moment we are safe 💭