Describing How it Feels When Your Health is at a Stand Still

I struggle to describe how it feels as nearly a year on from a physical set back, the fatigue I suffer from is at a complete stand still. But the other night I put my pen to the paper and wrote without thinking, and I think I finally found the words:
~
Ten steps back
Still no steps forward
She wants to move
But a barricade blocks her to where she wants to go
She cannot figure out why this barricade is there or what she has to do to beat it
She tries everything
And yet nothing works
Frustrated
She kicks, she hits, she screams, she cries
Temporarily defeated
Confused
Exhausted
She knows something needs to change
But she cannot move forward
So thats when it occurs to her
To stop and look at the spot where she is now
It’s not where she wants to be, but maybe it’s not as bad as it first seemed
Feeling hopeful
She sits
For she knows the barricade will one day lift
Whether through effort or simply time
She does not know
But she has seen it lift for other people, therefore knows one day it’ll happens to her
And then she’ll finally be free to move forward
But for now
She has an opportunity
To practise peace and happiness
At the spot where she’s stuck
So she sits
And she waits
As patiently as can be
Knowing one day
She’ll make it
But for now
This spot will have to do
Because even on the bottom step
She knows
Peace can be attained
And happiness is still achievable 💭
(Originally posted on @mindfullyevie Instagram and Facebook)

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